Review of Jerry Pinto’s ‘Em and the Big Hoom’

Very often, we tend to take the presence of our parents, siblings and friends in our lives for granted.  This, despite knowing that Death stakes its claim on us someday. But what if life throws a different challenge at us?

‘Em and the Big Hoom’ tries to answer just this question.  A touching and poignant semi- autobiographical novel by Jerry Pinto, the book deals with the loss that the unnamed narrator, his sister Susan and his father Augustine face when his mother, Imelda, turns suicidal and bipolar.

‘We snatched at her during the intervals’, reveals the anguish of a son who watched his mother oscillate from funny to caring, from daring to suicidal, from irreverent to melancholic as he was growing up. Em, as Imelda is known in the book, and as she is called by her children, is one of the protagonists of this book. The story tries to document her life through the eyes of her son, the narrator.

She begins her tryst with mental instability when the narrator is born and she inadvertently reminds him of it when she says, ‘“I don’t know ,Baba ,I don’t know why. It’s a tap somewhere .It opened when you were born.”

A son attempts to understand his mother – who she really is, before, during and after the spells of madness. As he traversers the path of life with her, we get varied glimpses into Em. Who is the Em that Augustine, his father (known as the Big Hoom) fell in love with, wooed, courted, married and remained with in joy and sorrow?  The one who is delirious and happy and talks about anything form her sex life to her friendships or the one who repeatedly tries to commit suicide?

The story swings seamlessly between the present and the past and brings out the inherent pain of a little boy who grew up with a mentally unstable mother. As the book tries to reach into the pain and pleasures of Em and her family, you cannot miss the subtle humour that underlies the pain. Em’s ability to see things in a different perspective and usually with a tinge of sarcastic humour is the silver lining in the cloud.

Her attitude inspires us to live each day to the fullest. She smokes her beedis, doesn’t think twice before discussing her sex life with her own children and gives brilliant pieces of advice even when not asked for.  Em loved to write. She wrote everywhere, in books, in letters she never posted, in little bits of paper, on any surface that could be written upon,  but was never encouraged to be a writer. Societal attitudes towards the mentally ill that stopped even their loved ones from exploring anything different for them is a high point in the novel.

The narrator so frequently prays for a ‘whole mother, a complete family and with it the ability to turn and look away’. Praying for what we do not have is human and the emotions of a little boy, even inside a grown up man is heart-wrenching. For both the children, the mother is not a regular fixture in their lives. She wanders in and out of it. The point of narration where Em tells her children that she never wanted them as they turn a perfectly strong woman into a ‘muddha’ (mother!) is not only humorous but equally hard-hitting. She possibly brings out what every woman feels but never has the guts to say. Societal norms of motherhood ensure women keep mum about what they actually feel. But in her moments of madness, Em brings out many vital strands of truth that speak not just for herself but for so many others.

Em and her children are held together by the Big Hoom. His place in their lives is very special. An anchor to this chaotic ship that he captains, his children adore him while Em loves him truly. The Big Hoom is an important part of Em’s life. Their relationship begins as an office romance where he flirts around with the secretary who later on goes ahead to become his life partner. Hoom is not just Em’s husband, but her soul mate. She may tease him and taunt him, but she adores him and values his presence in her life.

Susan, the narrator’s sister is in an equally passionate relationship with her mother. She is however, the more pragmatic of the two siblings. She provides the necessary emotional support for the narrator time and again by bringing a very practical perspective to many a situation. She is able to see her mother and the condition that she suffers from as two entities. Susan consoles her crying brother with ‘that’s not her, it’s her problem.’

The ability to see beauty in the mundane is something Em teaches all through this novel. She calls ‘The Big Hoom’  ‘angel ears’ as she feels they look like pieces of fried bacon! She teaches Susan and the narrator to differentiate a person from the personality. How often do we  look beyond the personality and figure out why the person does what she or she is doing?

The tumultuous journey through the lives of four people cooped in a Mahim chawl in Mumbai is a rollercoaster ride. The book navigates through the dark crowded parts of Em’s mind and while trying to dust the cobwebs in there, turns around and asks very unsettling questions. It makes us look at a ‘mad’ person with a whole new perspective.

Who is mad? Em? Or the rest of the world?

Who needs help? Em? Or the family?

The novel questions societal norms. It makes you take another look at your perceptions about people who are not like us. With minimal melodrama in it, the story ambles away like a river only to suddenly gurgle and rush into a waterfall, roaring and kicking and then settling into a calm that may just be waiting for another turn.

The book pulls heartstrings in a very beautiful way. It compels you to get back to it over and over again just to see if you missed anything beautiful and trust me when I say that each time I read it, I feel differently about it. It brings in emotions that range from joy at Em’s victories to indulgence at her idiosyncrasies to sorrow and pain at her suffering. At no point, however, does it want you to pity Em or her family. It inspires to celebrate every moment of your life. It inspires you to reach within yourself. Em connects you to your true self.

This article was originally published in www.sparkthemagazine.com ( October 2013 ) 

Whispers from the past

The beauty of nature and the cruelty of mankind – the Andaman Islands stand testimony to this juxtaposition. The calm seas that surround the islands hide in their hearts the tumultuous past of India’s freedom struggle. The white sands hide the red of the human blood. The quiet, clean place today is very deceptive: the innards of these peaceful islands hide years of torture, struggle and atrocities that can only make one wonder about the depths that man can sink to…and think if we are to be called mankind at all. The islands are proof that there was no kindness in man when he ruled these islands with a cruel heart and an iron fist.

A visit to the Cellular Jail jolted me awake to how much we have taken our lives for granted. The freedom that we enjoy, the fact that we are self-governing and that we breathe in a free country is because there were so many who were ready to sacrifice their lives for us.

The Viper Island stands in mute testimony to the many hangings that happened on the Islands. The Island has the remnants of an old court room and the hangman’s noose. Prisoners could escape only into the salty waters of the surrounding seas. These led to other islands like the Snake Island inhabited by the almost 80 different species of poisonous snakes.

Though the Cellular Jail in Port Blair was constructed later, the Andaman Islands had been used as a jail right from the first war for Indian independence. The revolutionaries of the 1857 revolt (as the British called it) were sent to these islands. The islands acquired the dubious title of Kaalapani as they were a place of no return. No one survived these islands.

The prisoners of the first war of Indian independence were made to construct the Jail. The Cellular Jail in itself is an architectural masterpiece. Like an octopus, albeit with seven arms, the radial jail looks as if  its tentacles are spread across Port Blair. The arms were connected at the centre from where watchful guards would keep a keen eye on the movement of all the prisoners. Each cell was a small room 4.5 x 2.7 metres or 13.5×7.5 feet in size with a ventilator located at a height of three metres. There were 693 cells in all, spread over the seven wings. Each wing had three stories. The cells isolated the prisoners. They could not communicate to each other once they were inside the cells. Every cell of one arm faced the ventilator of cells of the previous arm. Each cell was locked in such a way that a human hand from within the cell could never reach the lock. The isolation of these cells was so severe that Veer Savarkar, who was imprisoned in the Cellular Jail, met his own brother only after almost two years of imprisonment. The cells were small, dark and dirty. The inmates were given a pot by the British to conduct their daily ablutions which were then to be discarded away. The pots were given to them at a time when the guards felt it convenient to do so!

Solitary confinement was not the only torture used by the British.  They had various other methods by which they tried to throttle the spirit of freedom in these people. There were workshops in between the arms where the prisoners were made to do very strenuous tasks.  The British made them work on oil mills, where inmates would be yoked to an oil mill that weighed almost 150 kilograms. They were asked to crush the coconuts to wring out at least 3 pounds of oil each day. This was far more than what two bullocks could do. And woe be gone if the inmates did not accomplish the task! They would be subjected to further punishment. They were also made to wear a dress made of jute, which, given the hot and humid climate of the Andaman Islands, ensured that they felt itchy and sweaty throughout the day.  The inmates were also asked to de-husk at least eight pounds of coconut shells everyday. These unreachable targets left them at the mercy of the British. They were given just two cups of water in a day as they struggled through these tasks.

The inmates were also bound with heavy chains which ensured that they couldn’t move around with speed. The chains were actually rods that were straight and didn’t allow the body to bend. The inmates had to do all their work with these chains on their body. The torture chamber of the Cellular Jail also had a hangman’s cabin, where inmates were regularly hanged in order to scare the others.

The divide and rule policy was used by the British here too. They used to appoint some hefty Indian criminals who were not into the Indian independence struggle as watch guards or jamadars .These people were used to monitor the political prisoners and whip them into doing their duty. Thus they used Indians against Indians. The aim was to break the spirit of freedom that was inherent to the lives of these people. But these fighters could not thus be crushed – they inspired each other to survive and fight even without talking with each other. The inmates constantly sang patriotic songs to keep one another motivated.

As I went from cell to cell, along the long arms of the Cellular Jail, I could only think of the mad circus that is in play on the mainland. Was this what the people who lived and died here dreamed of? The mighty jail today seems to be sighing aloud, moaning at not what happened to it during the British regime, but on what is happening in our country today.

Only three arms of the cellular jail survive today. The other arms came down in a storm and the bricks of these arms were used to build a hospital. The tyrannical jail was now converted into an institution of care and is the most technologically equipped hospital in the Andaman Islands.

This article was originally published in www.sparkthemagazine.com in August 2013 

Empowering Emotions

I don’t want to be at the mercy of my emotions. I want to use them, to enjoy them, and to dominate them.” 
― Oscar Wilde, the Picture of Dorian Gray

What’s a human being without emotions? Emotions are present in every living minute of our lives. They rule the roost in our waking hours. They manipulate our dreams. They help us express ourselves, in the process, aiding us to understand and interact with the world. The navarasas, I believe, are emotions inherent in every living being, playing a major role in our lives every day.  The mind of a child is an exciting canvas for emotions. Children go through different emotions, at times, without knowing what it is they are feeling. As adults, parents and teachers have a great responsibility in helping children identify what they are feeling and why they are feeling so.  The ability to identify emotions helps in developing an emotionally-strong and confident individual.

As far as children are concerned, emotions start early in life. The emotional state of a pregnant woman’s mind is believed to have far-reaching effects on the development of the baby in the womb. It’s not uncommon for elderly women in the family to advise young, pregnant women to keep themselves in a happy state of mind.  ‘A happy mother, a healthy child’ is something most gynaecologists would tell expectant mothers too.

The Emotional Spectrum of a Child

A child is born an emotional being. He comes into this world demanding not just physical attention, but also emotional care. Babies react to emotions and go through emotions themselves. Research has shown that infants less than three months old feel at least five different types of emotions: joy (Hāsyam), anger (Raudram), sadness ( Kāruṇyam), disgust ( Bībhatsam) and wonder (Adbhutam). Infants use these emotions to link themselves with the outside world. They relate to people and things using these feelings.

Babies as young as three months have their favourite toys. I remember when my husband bought a little toy puppy for my four-month-old daughter, she looked at it with her wonder-filled, large, twinkling eyes. The pup barked and she screamed with joy. But the moment it flipped over, it scared her so much, the look in her eyes spoke of the disgust she felt for it. The pup retreated to the showcase and never came out till the day we gave it to someone.

Right from infancy, children go through the process of developing trust. Kids have very clear ideas in their minds as to whom they can trust and whom they cannot. That is why a one-year-old cries when a distant uncle tries to cuddle him. Distant uncle is definitely a stranger in the child’s mind.   This is Bhayānakam (fear) that develops out of mistrust.

As kids grow older, they use their emotions to tell us what they want and what they don’t want. The terrible-twos are called so because at this stage, children are actually discovering the emotions they are capable of displaying. Throwing tantrums, screaming, shouting –  the habits of the terrible-twos are a result of their process of self-discovery. They suddenly realise that they have so many different kinds of emotions in them. This is the stage when they get more control over their own lives. Support your child in his endeavour to attain this independence and feel the pride. Little things like using building blocks to create structures give the child a sense of achievement and independence. Let him learn to put on his shoes on his own. He may take time, but the wait is worth it. These small achievements nurture in him the feeling of Vīram (heroism).

As they grow older, they become curious. They ask questions and want to know the answers. The world around them is Adbhutam (wonder). Every day teaches them something new. They become seekers of information, especially of their immediate surroundings. As parents we need to encourage them to explore, treat their questions seriously and answer them sincerely. The more kids explore, the more confident they become of themselves. This is because their curiosity is being fulfilled. This generates a sense of satisfaction in them.

Right from the age of two, children learn anger and frustration – particularly when their demands are not met. These demands could be physical or emotional. The fact that you didn’t buy a toy for them or that a teacher chided them for an incorrect answer rouses these emotions. It is at these times that we need to teach them how to identify what they are feeling and why.  Most of us usually share the positive emotions. When your child has won a race, you tell him how happy you are; discuss how happy he is and generally how happy and proud the entire family is about him. But when it comes to anger or frustration, we often chide the kid and close it with a ‘Grow up!’ But isn’t that exactly what he is doing? He is growing up; finding it confusing and we don’t seem to be aiding him in that.

Negative Emotions: The Role of a Parent

When the child is angry, irritated or frustrated, discuss why he is feeling so. Let him talk about these feelings. Only then will he learn to handle them too. Children go through all the emotions that we adults go through. However, the way they express it is very different. They don’t exactly know how to express their emotions and hence turn to displaying it at a physical level. A child throwing a tantrum at a mall may not necessarily be misbehaving. He may just be trying to communicate something to the adult who has failed to understand.  He, therefore, expresses his emotion by physically throwing himself on the ground.

The most influential gift a parent can give the child is the freedom to express his emotions to him. When the child is comfortable expressing what he feels, he is more in control of himself. And when he is in control of himself, he knows how to handle his emotions. He may be angry, irritated, happy, ecstatic or sad, but when he expresses himself, he is not confused about what he is feeling. It is highly critical for parents to aid in the emotional development of the child.

Discuss emotions with your child. While reading out books to them, show them pictures of the main characters. Discuss what feelings the character may be going through. Ask them, for instance, “How do you think Snow White is feeling? Is she scared? Is she happy?” Make small moments of life your teaching moments.  Discuss how your little fellow got irritated when he had to share his chocolate with his sibling. Let him say why he didn’t want to share it. He just may have a logical argument that may not go with your lofty ideals of sharing and caring. But when he refuses to share because of hurt or anger, point out the emotion to him. If he tells you, “I am angry with my brother. He refused to give me his toy to play. Why should I share my chocolate with him?” he is connecting to the anger within him. Tell him, “I know you feel angry. Let’s talk to your brother too and see if both of you can share your stuff.” This way you teach him that his anger is not directed against his brother but against his unwillingness to share his stuff.

Play games like Simon says. Simon could ask them to be happy, sad, angry, brave, curious, thankful, loving, scary etc….cover as many emotions as possible. Soon your child will know the subtle differences between each one. He will begin to acknowledge these within him and outside of him.

Handling the Emotional Teenager

As your child is growing up, he goes through a number of issues: peer pressure, exam stress, rising expectations of the adults around him and conflicting viewpoints on almost everything. By the time kids reach their teenage, most parents are at loggerheads with them. Loud music and louder voices usually demarcate a house with a teenager. This predictable scenario could be averted and avoided with a little care from the side of the adult. Teens grow to experience emotions that are new and thus confusing once again. His heart wants to write a letter to the pretty girl in his class, but his mind tells him that he should be completing his journal.  His heart is on winning the next level in a video game, while his mind wants him to practise the piano. This tussle between the heart and the mind within, releases a good amount of frustrating energy which at times get personified with vigorous physical reactions, swear words and the building of a ‘no one can tell me what to do ‘ attitude. A child who is able to identify the emotions that he is experiencing, grows into a teenager who may not be as confused as those we generally find around us.

This stage can be a peaceful sail through if the adult is capable of helping the child handle the emotional upheaval he is going through. The question at this stage is not what the child is feeling. Frustration arises from the fact that he doesn’t figure out why he is feeling thus.  Most children go through adolescence without realising why they are feeling what they are. This makes them grow into adults who are equally confused about what is happening.

Encourage your son or daughter to speak to you. Try to get a parenting moment in the day when you can just hear what your child wants to say. If your child is not very communicative, encourage him to write a diary of what he feels. The attempt to verbalise his emotions will give him the ability to look at what he is going through with a different perspective. As he reads what he has written, he will question himself about why he feels so. This exercise will give him the required privacy to handle his own emotions. It will also aid him in his journey of self discovery.

The trick to managing a turbulent teenager is to manage your own emotions. ‘Keep cool while you school’ should be your mantra. If you get agitated for every little thing that the teen does, do not expect him to be paragon of peace. Help yourself maintain your peace of mind. Always find a different perspective. Look at the situation as your teen would. Try to remember the time you were a teen. How did you feel?  Once you hit the connect button with your teenager, the turbulent years could turn into terrific years.

A little bit of encouragement, a little bit of patience, a little bit of caring and a little bit of sharing through their years of growing up, will ensure the navarasas paint a pretty picture on the canvas of your child’s life.

This article was first published in Spark, September 2012 

Hear nothing, see nothing,speak nothing

We are serious, we are opinionated, we want only one idea and one perspective and yes, we don’t like to laugh at ourselves. We are India.

The National Council for Educational Research and Training (NCERT) recently deleted cartoons from its textbooks which it felt were politically insensitive. Did the biggest educational body of our country not realise that before the books got published four years ago? Oh, wait – it’s not that the NCERT suddenly came to its ‘senses’. The action was a result of protests from certain powerful sections of the society who  lacked the sprit to laugh at themselves.

Let’s travel back in time. The year is 1988. Rajiv Gandhi, the then prime minister of India, was under severe criticism for his involvement in the Bofors Scandal. Feeling the heat of the media revelations, Mr. Gandhi sought to get the Anti-Defamation Bill passed in the parliament. This bill sought to create ‘new’ offences, and the media would have to be very careful of what they said because now every statement could be interpreted in a way that could be held against them. Nationwide protests against the bill ensured that it was not passed, but the media was still under the attack of the politician. Foreign journalists who were investigating the Bofors scandal were not given visas to enter the country.

India’s intolerance extends to art and artists too, with a number ofbooks and authors being banned in India. Salman Rushdie’s ‘Satanic Verses’ to Joseph Lelyveld’s ‘ The Great Soul’, a book that claims to expose Gandhiji’s sexual life and his racist views, are banned either nationwide or in certain states. ‘Nine Hours to Rama’ by Stanley Wolpert is banned as it exposes the lack of security given to Gandhiji the day he was assassinated. Salman Rushdie was not granted a visa to attend the Jaipur Literature Festival. M.F.Hussain died outside of India as the Indians wouldn’t tolerate his art and didn’t want him here.

The electronic media too has not escaped the censor’s scissors.Time and again directors are asked to make changes in their movies. Movies like ‘Fire’ and ‘Water’ by Deepa Mehta are banned due to their controversial topics. The National Award-winning movie ‘The Dirty Picture’ cannot be shown on television because it has what the government believes is ‘adult content’. Internet giant, Google, has revealed in its transparency report released in June 2012 that it received 101 requests from Indian authorities to delete 255 items from its content. This marks a sharp rise of 49% fromthe second half of last year. Authorities feel that some of the sensitive content posted online puts national security at risk and needs to be removed.

Innumerable instances such as these force us to think: where are we heading? Or, at times: where are we coming from?

Why is there so much censorship in India? Why doesn’t the government want our kids to think, discuss and argue about the political situations that arose in history? Why do we believe that something doesn’t exist if we can’t see it?

I believe this attitude comes from our history. The Aryans who settled in India brought in the Varna system. This system divided the society into four castes. These castes couldn’t intermingle with each other. They had a pecking order just like the animal world did. The vedas were the prerogative of the Brahmans. The military skills had only to be with theKshatriyas.We all know what happened to Ekalavya and Karna. Withholding information from other people meant power, control and supreme authority. Power play isn’t original to the T20 matches; our gods had begun it a very long time back. Devdutt Pattanaik has analysed the story of Bahubali, brother of celebrated king Bharata, and elaborated very clearly how the instinct to dominate is so strong that even people who renounce the world take pride in the fact that the rest of the world bows to them. Power play and censorship exist even at very individual levels.  Parents of adult children decide careers and life partners for them. In many families finances are not personal but part of a bigger kitty. Adults do not have the right to take decisions. The Khaps in Haryana will not let young people decide whom to marry. They have gone to the extent of banning mobile phones for people below the age of 40!

And it is from this power play that the urge to censor stems. As the major educational body of the country, instead of standing up and questioning why the cartoons that never rankled in the ages of their publication should be deleted, the NCERT succumbed to the power of the ‘other’ forces and removed them. When loopholes in our systems are pointed out in the media, as a nation do we have the guts to say that we erred? Oh no! We try to dumb down the voices. We ban a ‘Nine Hours to Rama’ because the author dared to show this country that we lost the Father of our Nation due to our own lack of security systems. But we don’t want to listen to these voices. The governments think that the matter is sorted out by banning the book. Generations grow up seeing and learning only what is portrayed to them.  It is said that history is always the story of the winner; history, I believe, is always the story of the censor. What students are taught to believe is our history, what they grow to feel proud of, what is taught time and again in our classrooms, is sadly the perspective of the government and people in power.  Politicians, past or present, have always tried to stifle voices. Aditya Thackeray, the rising star leader of the Shiv Sena in Mumbai demanded that the University of Mumbai ban Rohinton Mistry’s 1990 Booker-nominated novel ‘Such a Long Journey.’ The demand came after certain sections of the party brought it to his notice that the novel made some anti-Shiv Sena references. What shocked most was that the University obliged the very next day! When institutes of higher education pander to the demands of political fledglings, it is time for us to fear. We need to fear the future we are handing over to our children. As a teacher I have constantly motivated my students to think for themselves. But when they go out in the world, out of the cocoons of a classroom, does anybody care for their voice of dissent? When we don’t teach our kids to think and act but want them to solely follow what we are trying to indoctrinate, isn’t there something seriously wrong? The resignations of Prof.Suhas Palshikar and Prof.Yogendra Yadav from their positions as advisors to NCERT after this incident indicate a loud and clear YES to that question.

Our constitution states that we are a democratic country and one of the fundamental rights of a citizen is the right to free speech. Oh yes! We truly are a democratic country. We are full of honourable people! We truly believe that if the younger generation sees, hears and speaks what we want them to, then we will surely create a shining India in the future.

How long will we hear nothing, see nothing and speak nothing?

This article was originally published in www.sparkthemagazine.com in August 2012 

Role Reversal

Long after the tenets of the English grammar are forgotten, long after Shakespeare has been analysed and the précis been written and the dust has settled on the report cards, when the phone rings and a voice shrieks over, “Ma’am, I am in Mumbai, can I meet you? Do you remember me…?” and an animated voice continues without waiting for a reply, you know here is a student whose life you have touched. And yes, here is a student who has touched your life.

Having been an educator for over 16 years, I have time and again realised that the student-teacher relationship is a rather interesting one. While the most obvious reality is that the teacher is the one who imparts knowledge to the students, how often have teachers themselves looked carefully at some of the little but life’s crucial lessons that a student teaches the world?

If I taught them to listen, speak, read and write, they taught me to perceive, communicate, interpret and inscribe. If I taught them skills to value life, they taught me the values to manoeuvre life. If I taught them the ABC of the English language, they taught me the ABC of the language of life. Here are the 10 most important lessons that I have learnt from observing children, including my students over the years.

1. Allow the voice of your heart into your mind:  17-year-old Ronald was a talented dancer.  He wanted to be a professional dancer and choreographer. Earlier, Ronald had very fervently shared his dreams with his teachers and lamented his inability to convince his mother. His mother wanted him to become a banker. Lending voice to his dreams, his teachers helped him convince his mother to follow his dreams. Today he travels the world and is an established choreographer only because the voice of his heart led his mind. Learn to listen not just to the voice of your mind but also the voice of your heart.
2. Agree to disagree:  Peer groups in class present multiple solutions to a situation only because they agree to disagree.   Teenagers Rohan and Nishi have diametrically opposite views on almost everything. But since they usually agree to disagree, they create superior work. They know that once they do not step on each other’s toes, they are able to think and perform better.  Ego finds room in many an adult heart and makes it difficult for an adult mind to disagree without rancour.
3. Be passionate and recognise others’ passions:  12-year-old Krishna was never a go-getter in the classroom but every team wanted him in theirs. They knew he was the best footballer the school could have. He was passionate about football and his classmates cheered him for that. Kids are instinctively passionate. They know what drives them to aim for excellence. An adult in his quest for his own passion may many a time find it, but misses on seeing what accelerates others in life.
4. Chase to the finish:  Teachers usually wait outside a classroom, for the previous class to be completed. Entry into a classroom doesn’t mean the beginning of the class. More often than not, this is because students are engrossed in completing a painting or cracking a tough math problem or just winding up a diagram from the previous class. Kids chase to finish. They do not like to leave things half done. As adults we often move on to the next task in our task list even when we have not completed one because we are so time-bound.
5. Disorder is not always discordant: Adults like to be neat, organised and in charge of everything. Kids can be unruly, disorganised and chaotic. But look hard and you will find a method in the madness, calm in the chaos, a creation in the confusion. An untidy classroom becomes an obstacle course, a torn notebook becomes material for craft and the crowds in a compartment begin to look like atoms in a solid. Disorder is not always discordant. It lies within us to create a new order.
6. Let your imagination run riot : Imagination sparks creativity, but as we grow older, we somehow tend to stop using our imagination for the fear of being ridiculed. Kids do not crave to fit into moulds or please anyone with their ideas. They are true to their heart and their imagination always finds a freeway. They can be in space one moment or in the centre of the earth the next. That is only because they let their imagination run riot.
7. Live the moment: A student who focuses on the moment is more the rule than an exception in a pre-primary or primary classroom. Undivided attention to the task at hand and the sheer joy of working on a project is visible in the tired smile of a student who makes his submissions. Kids never worry about what’s going to happen tomorrow. That’s why an undone assignment or homework doesn’t bother them much. The focus on one task hardly leaves them with time to even think about the other. But the satisfaction of completing the one at hand is more important than worrying about the undone ones. ‘Next is what’, seems to be the motto of most grownups. ‘Now is life’ is what life seems to be telling us through these kids.
8. Recognise the good in others: Kids don’t look at others in his/her group thinking, ‘Is he going to cheat me? Will he take me for a ride?’ They just believe that everyone is intrinsically good. An adult, on the other hand, begins with distrust. They believe the world is out to cheat them. Why do we need the fine print in almost every transaction? This is because we work on the premise that each one of us is out to cheat the other.
9. Dream big: Almost every three-year-old wants to grow up into an engine driver. What image could be more powerful than wanting to control an engine that runs an entire train? But as we grow, we let go of our dreams. Our dreams become smaller and smaller in the daily grind of things and one day we stand back and question ourselves: Where did I begin from and where have I ended? Hold on to your dreams, fasten them tightly to your heart and one day they will be so big that you cannot ignore them.
10. What is inside matters more: Give any curious child (little or otherwise) a toy car and the possibility that he wants to know what’s inside is more than actually  wanting to play with it, reminds you that what is inside matters more than what is on the outside. And that’s perhaps such a valuable lesson – do not get carried away by outward appearances. Remember to look within.

This article was originally published in www.sparkthe magazine.com  in September 2011 

The traveler's gift

With his remaining conscious thought, David removed his hands from the steering wheel and raised them as fists to the sky. “Please, God!” he cried. “Why me?”………

“Why….not….you?” Looking directly into David’s eyes, Truman enunciated the words carefully, separating them as if he were speaking to a child. “I believe that is the answer to the last question you asked before you arrived.”

The question we need to ask ourselves is Why not me?

Modern life is definitely not a bed of roses. The thorns of failure, time and again, shake us out of our complacency and make us realise that all is not well in the world we have created for ourselves.  Man today is arrogant, ungrateful and lacks faith. The hollowness of his life echoes in his personal and professional life. Civilisation is hurtling itself towards its peril.

Here’s a book that tries to answer the pertinent question ‘why not me’ and motivates readers to find their bearings in this fast-paced life that seems to be taking us nowhere. The Traveler’s Gift by Andy Andrews is a book that unravels how man agonises over everything, looking for a solution outside him, when ironically the solution lies within – it’s the story of David Ponder, the protagonist, whose life has been anything but simple. Ponder finds himself thrown out of a job that he thought he would never lose, forcing him to work on very low wages in the new one. Unable to fund his daughter’s treatment, Ponder is suicidal. When his car skids down the icy cliff during his suicide attempt, Andy Andrews takes David Ponder and the reader on a magical journey through time, one that is a powerful combination of fact, fiction, history and motivation.

The accident projects him into a trajectory of time travel wherein he encounters  people as diverse as Harry Truman and King Solomon.  His final encounter is with Gabriel, an archangel who shows him all that he didn’t achieve in life since he gave up on those ideas and lacked the zeal to see through them. His encounters with each one of the characters teach him a new lesson and help him take seven decisions that will alter the course of his life.   Following this, Ponder reaches his own future and sees himself a successful man inspiring the world with what happened to him and how the seven decisions that he made determined his personal and professional success.

History teaches lessons that man chooses to ignore. Lessons from the past should motivate us to chart out way ahead. But so caught up are we in trying to run the daily grind that we do not take the time out to pause and think. The Traveler’s Gift makes you introspect: Where am I going? What is my role in this huge time machine that I am travelling in? Do I have faith in the decisions that I take? The novel succeeds in telling you that every small decision taken with faith and conviction can change the course of not just one’s life but of a generation.

Quit quitting: the message comes out loud and clear without being condescending. The plot is captivating and the language is simple and engaging. One is as curious as Ponder to find who he will encounter next and what lesson he will learn. The solutions are practical and attainable.  The seven decisions that Ponder makes may seem simple but are no doubt so powerful that one is motivated to put them into practice.

The book is indeed a gift for the traveller undertaking the journey called life. A free reading guide is available atwww.thomasnelson.com/travelersgift. Andy Andrews is a comedian, author, speaker, corporate entertainer, television celebrity and a serious fisherman.  Find Andy Andrews at  http://www.andyandrews.com/

The Traveler’s Gift by Andy Andrews;published in India by Magna publishing; pages 206, price Rs 175

This article was originally published in www.sparkthemagazine.com in December 2011

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